ALIGN ~ How we can Block our Recovery from CFS/ME: Beliefs, Habits, Thoughts and Behaviours

‘How do we get in our own way?’ you might say – read on…

Beliefs

Sometimes it's by the beliefs that we hold – many of them we are not even aware of.  In fact, most of our beliefs are sub-conscious. We often don’t know when, where or why we adopted them. Chances are they supported us at that time, the question is are they still supporting us or sabotaging us?

Beliefs people with chronic illnesses might hold the following beliefs:

·     don't believe that we can fully recover

·     believe we have to do everything perfectly in order to fully recover

·     don't believe we're worthy of recovering

·     believe that we deserve to be sick or unwell

·     did something wrong and that's why it all happened

·     that we have no power and cannot influence the course of our illness or lives

Shine as much light on your beliefs as you can by questioning them. What do I believe? What does my behaviour and my habits say about what I believe? Are these beliefs helpful and will they support me in my recovery? If the answer is a resounding ‘No’, then trade them in for beliefs that will. You are an adult – you can do this. Choose it – release the old and embrace a new belief that will help you be how you want to be and get where you want to go.

Habits

Our habits may also not support our recovery.  For example, with CFS, if a person keeps pushing themselves and overriding their body, that's a really bad habit. They might know that the more they push themselves, the more CFS can push back, sabotaging their recovery. Why they know this and push anyway is also a good question to dive deeper into.

This habit, I call it an illness habit or hindering habit (contrasted with a healthy or helpful habit), is going to get in the way of full recovery. Part of chronic fatigue recovery is learning to really listen to your body and to respond accordingly with kindness, grace and acceptance.

Examples of illness habits:

·     talking meanly/poorly to oneself

·     getting up at different times every day

·     eating food that is not nourishing

·     over-riding feelings & emotions

·     ignoring your body

·     putting off doing things you enjoy in favour of things you don’t

·     loops in your brain – repetitive doom-like thoughts and catastrophic thinking

Thoughts

One of the biggest mistakes humans make, is that we tend to believe everything we think. We have ridiculously large number of thoughts every day, thousands and thousands and thousands of them. If you spend 5 minutes writing down every thought you have, you will quickly realize that most of them are just bollocks. They don't mean anything. They are for the most part, nonsensical and irrelevant. We humans also tend to attach meaning to thoughts where there is none. For example, ‘my foot aches, I must have fibromyalgia’ often looking for the most far out explanation rather than the most simple and likely; ‘I stood on a sharp object’. This kind of thinking is catastrophic or over-the-top and out of proportion. It is a symptom of a dysregulated nervous system which many people with CFS experience.  

I don't remember who said it, but some wise person once said something like ‘an insane person is one who believes every thought that they have’.

Key message – don’t believe everything you think. Be selective with the thoughts that you choose to pay attention to, believe and act on.

Behaviour

Our behaviours, habits and our thoughts are informed by our beliefs.  We might indulge in behaviours like eating food that is not nourishing or continuing eating even when full, despite knowing it's not good for us and is challenging our body. Still we keep doing it. For the most part, our behaviours are physical manifestations or indications of our beliefs and what we value.

What do the following examples tell us about underlying beliefs and values? Consider potential downstream consequences (or course we are making assumptions here but work with me)

·     Skipping lunch regularly and under fueling body

·     Irregular bedtimes varying between 11pm and 2am.

·     Pursuing ones objectives relentlessly - past being tired, over training, over working, under sleeping and so on

·     Not drinking water and mostly drinking coffee

·     Sitting at ones computer for 8-10 hours a day without many breaks

Literally everything we do has a consequence. Some of us a blessed with resilient genes that may limit the impact for x years, most of us aren’t. Most auto-immune conditions (which is most disease) are lifestyle related and are NOT caused by genes. Genes offer potential but that potential is switched on by the lifestyles we lead and the choices we make day in day out.

So again, do a stock take – look at your behaviours (may also be habits) and ask ‘Which are helpful and which are not’?

Reflection

Our beliefs, habits, thoughts and behaviours offer us a lot of information about what we value and what drives out behaviour.

Are they helpful to or do they hinder recovery?

How are you getting in your own way ?

How can you get out of your own way to help facilitate your recovery?

What beliefs, habits, thoughts and/or behaviours could you adopt to support your recovery?

What beliefs, habits, thoughts and/or behaviours could you abandon to support your recovery?

If you’d like practical and uplifting health recovery information, sign up for the Connect Community newsletter. Do this and get access to a FREE monthly Connect Community Zoom Event LIVE offering juicy insight, goodness and inspiration on a topic relevant to those experiencing CFS/ME/Long Covid PLUS a free LIVE weekly 15-minute Laughter Wellness Workout via zoom.

Anaya Smiley © 2024. No part of this work can be reproduced in any way without the written and explicit permission of Anaya Smiley.

This blog is not medical advice and should not be considered so.

Before making any changes, always consult your primary physician first.