EMBODY ~ Letting go of Illness Persona or Identity

For me, this version of myself was kick-arse and I loved her. I still do. She was relentless, optimistic, hopeful, committed, determined, endlessly motivated, driven, kind, compassionate, self-loving and incredibly nourishing. She was purposeful, passionate, intentional and direct. She got me through the toughest time I have ever experienced with grace, humour and love – she was also a response to and part of my illness.

She was created by me, for me, in order to heal. Returning to wellness meant letting her go. I grieved her loss as you would a dear friend. Who was I without her? It was unbelievably challenging to let go one of the most amazing parts of myself I have ever witnessed. Hard, sad, awful but I had to do it. I had to let her go and embrace the unknown - take that leap of faith.

She was part of my past – my illness and is not and cannot be part of my future and wellness. She served her purpose beautifully. I am in absolute awe of her.

Letting go takes an extraordinary amount of courage. Every person who has had an illness, I believe, is faced with this choice. Let go the known and old, take the leap off the precipice of unknown into wellness and trust that everything will be OK. Everything will work out and you will discover new parts of yourself.

I have done this three times now that I can viscerally remember. It does not get any easier, despite knowing that only wonderful things await.

In my experience working with people to heal and recover, there comes a point in everyone’s journey, no matter what illness they are experiencing, where they are asked to shed their illness identity or persona. Some people can do it, others struggle with this. I observe that being unable to let go of this persona and embrace the unknown, prevents some people from fully recovering or getting fully well – fully embodying wellness in all ways, on as many levels as possible – mind, body, spirit. That is not to say that people’s lives do not improve dramatically – they do. Think of it as maybe painting the outside of the house versus re-doing the entire house. You might not want a total re-do. That’s OK. No worries there.

Sometimes sticking with the known and predictable feels safer than embracing the unknown and unpredictable.  Letting go requires immense courage, huge trust and faith that everything will be OK. No sugar coating it – healing journeys are not for the faint hearted – they challenge every aspect of your existence and demand you evolve.

If you do manage to take the leap of faith and shed the skin of your illness persona, take heart – what waits for you at the other side is magic, amazing, wonderful, beyond your wildest dreams and 100% worth it. It will make everything feel worthwhile and make sense (not saying you would repeat it – although knowing what you now know, many, including myself, do say they would).

• Have you created a ‘illness/getting-well’ persona?
• How have they helped or hindered your healing and recovery?
• What are they like? What qualities do they possess?
• How do you feel about them?
• How do you feel about letting them go?

If you want to enhance and power your healing, equip yourself with essential knowledge, tools, strategies and insights to recovery, to stay well, to thrive, to prosper and love your life and who you are, check out my comprehensive and personalised Whole,

 Healed & Healthy ™ program for CFS/ME/LC. Book a FREE 30 minute connect call with me right now on my website

 and let’s get your recovery started!

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Anaya Smiley © 2024. No part of this work can be reproduced in any way without the written and explicit permission of Anaya Smiley.

This blog is not medical advice and should not be considered so.

Before making any changes, always consult your primary physician first.