In his book “How to Consistently Act From Your Deepest ‘Why’ and Optimise Your Time", Benjamin Hardy uses an exercise he calls the ‘7 Levels of Why’ to unpack the deeper why or why nots of behaviour.

I have personally found the ‘7 Levels of Why’ a very helpful tool to enable me to understand why I think, behave, feel the way I do. When I had CFS, it enabled me to investigate beliefs, habits and attitudes that were keeping me stuck. Once I became aware of the drivers, I was able to make conscious choices and health facilitating changes.

There are plenty of ways to The 7 Levels of Why. Hardy suggests thinking about what really matters to you and then asking the question

‘What about …………… is important to me’?

Following this, ask yourself 'Why?' 7 times or until uncover a deep reason that resonates with truth and profound understanding.

Feel free to re-arrange or change the question in a way that works for you. For example:

• What is beneath my desire to………..?
• Why am I so worried about……….?
• Why do I feel ………..?
• Why is it so hard/easy for me to…….?

I still use this tool today. Just last week I used it to help me understand why, despite being a motivated and regular mover, I have been finding it so hard to go to the gym and lift weights. Given I am post-menopausal and have been having some joint challenges, I know it is good for me. It will: strength my joints, build bone mineral density and weights are associated with longevity and higher quality of life. All good things and great motivators.

Nonetheless, knowing all the reasons why it is a good idea, hasn’t been enough to actually get me to the gym.

Example

When I decided to use 7 Levels of Why to understand my bigger why, it was primarily so I had a real example for this blog – I had no idea it would reveal such a deep wound, fear and truth for me. But here it is… I have used the third person rather than first – not sure why – use what works for you.

Q1. I am finding it really hard to create the habit of going to the gym. Why?

A1. I don’t like the gym.

Q2. Why don’t you like the gym?

A2. It is inside – I hate being inside.

Q3. Why do you hate being inside?

A3. I feel trapped and disconnected.

Q4. Why do you feel trapped and disconnected inside?

A4. It is hard to get out – no exits and it is not peaceful.

Q5. Why is it being hard to get out a big deal? Why is it not peaceful?

A5. Because if an earthquake hits, I need to be able to get out (AHHHH) and it isn’t peaceful because everyone is arguing.

Q6. Why do you need to escape?

A6. Because I don’t feel safe.

A7. Why don’t you feel safe?

A7. Because this part of is not reliably emotionally self-regulating and that leads to my a small amount of nervous system dysregulation.

This has meant that when I go to the gym (think dark, small, concrete brick building like where I was for earthquakes and my family home), I feel unsafe  This causes my system to become dysregulated, leading me to me feeling ‘off’ and uneasy in my body without knowing why. I ascribed these feelings and sensations to ‘the gym’ rather than ‘how I feel at the gym’.

So there you have it – two AH HA’s for me. Two dawning awareness’s around why I have been holding myself back from going to the gym.

1)    I don’t feel safe inside the building due to my experience of feeling like I was going to die in the Christchurch earthquakes

2)   I don’t feel safe being inside because inside was where my parents and family yelled, argued and fought

Being outside became my haven – my strategy for coping with things when they got too much for me.

Who would have thought that using this technique to answer a seemingly superficial question would access such a deep and profound truth?

As you make your way down the levels, it is normal to ponder ‘why on earth am I doing this?’, ‘what a waste of time’ and ‘this is bollocks’ before the dawning awareness of your deeper why emerges. Followed by a deep and reverberating ah-ha moment if you are willing to go that far and trust what shows up for you. Be as open as you can to it - there is gold in there somewhere.

Uncovering the reasons why, offers you the power to choose how you respond going forward. Possible responses for me include: finding a gym that feels good; finding outside options, re-training my brain and body to be regulated and feel safe in such environments.

Awareness = choice = power + influence.

I understand that for those reading this, going to the gym is currently down the list of things that may be possible and it may feel tone deaf of me to use such an example. If it is triggering, consider that it might be a great place to start. This example does however, illustrate how powerful this strategy can be at uncovering unexpected hidden truths for the seemingly superficial.

What questions do you want answers to?

 How about using the ‘7 Levels of Why ‘ and see what you discover?

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This blog is not medical advice and should not be considered so.

Before making any changes, always consult your primary physician first.

Anaya Smiley © 2024. No part of this work can be reproduced in any way without the written and explicit permission of Anaya Smiley.